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Everette Fortner's Blog

How to Say No

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Some of you are facing a really good problem—how to say no to an offer, or two. 

Well, if you are not one of those people, don’t stop reading, because soon you might be—sooner than you think.   This January, we had nearly twice as many postings as last January.  February is off to a good start as well.  Two weeks ago one student came to me panicked.  She had her last interview, and no offers.  This week she came to me with four offers, elated but nervous about saying no.  Last April, I counseled a Second Year student with several offers from off-Grounds companies—after months of no offers at all.  One more example:   last Friday night at the SHE auction (one of the best events I’ve attended in my five years at Darden), I spoke to three Second Year international students who have taken jobs with companies that didn’t interview on-Grounds, and that don’t normally hire international students, and that handed out the offers late in the FY season.  At least one of the three had to turn down a different offer with another company that doesn’t hire international students.  I use these three examples to make a point:   it is still early—for both First Year and Second Year students—so you too may be facing the idea of too many offers rather than enough. Be patient, and hustle (see last week’s entry).

In turning down an offer from a company, I would assume you have a few objectives in mind:  maintain your personal relationship with the company with the hope of future consideration, maintain Darden’s positive reputation and relationship with the company, and maintain your own dignity and self-respect.

So a few ideas:

Remember, you don’t have an offer until it is in writing—at least as a fax or an email with the basics.  So don’t say no to one offer until you have a firm offer from your primary choice.

Accept your primary offer before turning down your secondary offer.  This advice is just a cautionary note:  until you have spoken with your hiring manager one last time, you can’t be sure nothing has changed.

When declining, tell the truth about why you are turning the company down.  Sounds so simple right, but usually students start thinking about convoluted explanations to companies about why they took one offer over another.  My experience suggests that the truth is usually the best thing—it may take a bit of spin, but honesty works. The truth actually gives the company something to work with if you want them to convince you next year to work for them instead.  A corollary to this is to stay true to what you said in the interview process.  Be careful if you said in your interviews that you were really interested in marketing, you probably should not say that you are turning down the marketing offer because you got a great offer in finance and that finance is what you really want to do.

In this turndown effort, a few additional ideas:  “I can’t thank you enough for placing your confidence in my abilities”, “thank you so much for the opportunity”, “I am still extremely interested in your company”, “the decision was very difficult and very close”, “it came down to a gut feel”, “the relationships I made at XXX were just a little stronger—I had known them since almost the first week of school”.

Try to create an opportunity to continue the dialogue with the companies you turn down.  Offer/ask if you can come visit them this summer to continue getting to know other people in their firm.  Ask if there is anything you can do to help them continue to be successful at Darden.

Call everyone in the process.  Two key words:  call and everyone.  Sometimes it is tempting to send an email.  After all, how many company rejections did you get via email and snail mail?  Don’t.   A personal call makes an enormous difference, allows for no misinterpretation, and facilitates two-way communication.  Everyone:  be sure to communicate your decision to all the parties who participated in your offer process, not just the HR person. 

Turn down an offer as soon as you can.  So you get two offers, but your number one company has not made its decisions.  Can you release one of the two?  I suggest yes.  Perhaps another Darden student will get the backup call.  So you have three offers that came so fast you couldn’t turn one down in time.  And now one of your top two companies comes along as a fourth.  Can’t you release the least favorite two so that you can spend your time deliberating between the top two? I think so.  This is not to say that you need to turn down one offer before you have another, or even that you should not have more than two open offers, but think about narrowing your decision to two options as quickly as you can.  This process allows the company to move forward, and possibly creates an opportunity for another Darden student.  (By the way, not all companies have the leeway to give your offer to another Darden student.  It is frustrating, but they sometimes allocate offers to schools, not acceptances.)

Stop feeling guilty for collecting offers.   The student I saw today was feeling somewhat guilty that she had collected four offers.  All the offers came within days of each other, and her number one choice did not come until today.  I don’t think there is anything she could have done differently, so she should not feel guilty.  What she should do is cut the two least favorite offers free today, so that others may benefit, and she should make a final decision quickly if she has enough information to make the decision. 

I hope these ideas are helpful.


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Everette Fortner - Director, Career Development Center
Everette Fortner
Executive Director for Corporate Relations and Career Development
Darden School of Business

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2009 Archives

Sugarland's Career Advice

The Ethics of Offers

Multi-task or Multi-fail?

Tell Your Story

A No Jerk Policy

How to Turn That Informal Internship into an Offer (and Other Next Steps)!

Design Sensibility Is the Answer to Your Next Career Question

Breakthrough Career Advice (No, really this time!)

Breakthrough Career Development Advice

You Are What You Do

Getting Started

Sprint to the Finish Line, and then Re-set

Are You Client Ready

These Times, They Are Interesting

Looking For a Summer Job? Create One

“It’s Off to Work We Go”

GOAL Is Working, But It NEEDS YOU!


2008 Archives

Companies Love You

First Impressions Matter

You Missed Your Chance

Tailgate Ends Career

Elevate Others

Storytelling

Hitting the Ground Running

Reflections on a meeting with the CMO of Frito-Lay and the Dean

Go West, Young Man

Insights into a Career in Private Equity

Meaningful Summer Work (and thoughts on next year's job search)

Alums That Care

Create Your Summer Resume Bullet Points

Darden CDC in Second Life

Mariah Carey’s Career Advice on American Idol

Build It and They Will Come

Bee Movie Guide to Career Development--Part 1

Preparing for Next Year’s Consulting Interviews—Start Now!

Re-Inventing the Recruiting Calendar

Are You Making an Impact?

Lessons from Losing

How to Say No

I'm Really Scared (and you must be too!)

My Daughter's Paradise Paper

I Just Sold 300 Hot Dogs, and it Might Help your Interview

Be Sure to Re-Energize

A New CDC Website?(1)

It Takes a Team (to get a Job)

Using Technology in your Career Search

Networking Against All Odd: An International Success Story

Feedback on Fall Interviews

Career Lessons from Traveling with our Dean

The Case for Working in India

Traveling for Call Backs

Networking with the Big Wigs

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Networking: A Means to an End?

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Entering the Market

Another Blog?

A New CDC Website?


2007 Archives

Networking Against All Odds: An International Success Story